Monday, July 28, 2008

TEENS!!! How I Loathe your 1334 skillz

Well Weaksausingtons... I did it, I dipped my toe back into the poisoned waters of online ranked matches, And How did I do... well to explain how i did I must first explain "kill / death" ratio. It is not complicated but I know how your pea brains find it complicated to wrap your minds around teh ol' hal0z, so I'll speak slowly. Kill/death ratio is how I measure my skills in halo.

 Really good players generally have an overall k/d of +3 or +4. witch means for all the games they have played they average 3 killz to every one death they have (or if they're +4 they average 4 kills for every death). At my Peak  was more or less a +2 which isn't to shabby. At this point my average has dipped down to a +1.1 - not great. 

So how did I do against the teens? well, I played 4 matches of team slayer.... 

k/d ratio?  -3. So yeah

Did I get ass raped? no, What a negative 3 k/d means is that for every time I died I got one kill in, except for 3 times, in which i got killed without taking any livez. Overall this is what was to be expected, but now that my toe is firmly in the teen infested waters I will continue on trying to dominate. Put my skillz in your heart dear weaksaucers I am gonna need the power of my fans to propel me along these torrid waters.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The DEVIL named Teen.

Alright, I have been negligent, I have been dick, and I have been lazy.

At this point, is there even any weaksaucers left? have you ages ago given up hope for a update, mixed poison into your sanka and then drank it? Is that what happened? you all dead? Well I hope not cause have I got a post for you.

Heres the thing. My skillz? they have degraded into skills... WITH AN "S". Thats right weak saucers I am no longer the asskicking powerhouse that you all worshiped. I have become feeble, indeed the old adage "you use it or lose it" is decidedly true. Why have I come out of hiding you ask? why do you stand in front of us naked, holding the truth? Well, I'll tell you. Me and Joel have been battling, and of course I have been womping him mercilessly. But then joel says, "i have this nephew, and he wants to play us. But the thing is... he's good, real good. and the worse part about it.... he's a TEEN!!!!"

A teen.

I hate all teens, all they do all day is play halo. they have young spongy minds, and lightning reflexes. I cant let this kid stomp me. I WONT let this kid stomp me. This is what I must do... go back to ranked matches, throw myself to the 13 year olds. hone my skills to razor point skillz . It must be done. and you fair weaksaucers will be privy to my progress. I will show you my ups and downs. the teabags, and my pwnage. Hopefully... with a little luck and allot of practice, I will crush joels TEEN nephew under my powerful heel.

expect updates soon

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