Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Behold! New Meat for the slaughter!

Alright weaksaucers all across the interwebs... Meet Joel! Amazing, possibly. About to get pwned, most definitely. He is a brave brave man who by a stroke of the tax gods has acquired a 360... What does that mean to my loyal subjects? Well for one my little children. Perhaps you'll get some sweet sweet carnage of this guy. also, if we're all really lucky perhaps we can even get him to guest write on this excellent groundbreaking blog!

Fingers crossed guys... hopefully he brings the pain!

OMG! Amassing Asians!!!

Holy Crap! Check this video out! Its awesome! I have said it before and I'll say it again, asians are a strange and wonderful people!
I like that there are official crowd smooshers. Granted this is probably pretty shitty for the commuters (nyc subways dont get nearly as crowded and it still blows) But for us weaksaucers chillin on the interpipes it is a minute or two of pure delight!

Enjoy the poor city planning!

Grand Theft Cream in my Jeans

Ok cool dudes and dudettes... No halo in the last week and whatnot. And at the moment thats cool, I just got GTA4 and it is blowin minds over at OMG headquarters. It is the hotness and if it were up to me each and every one of you would come to weaksauce fortress and be forced to watch me play through all 40+ hours of the story... with no bathroom breaks, it would make it that much more intense!

-Peace out.

also- did you know that pop songs from the eastern block can be very catchy?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Dan Gold is a Delight! Watch his beautiful Cinema!


A wunderkind by the name of Dan Gold has graced our eyes and ears with one of those "moving pictures" that seem to be all the rage with the cool kids these days. Give it a watch... Soak in the warm soapy bath of situational comedy that is "Hitler goes to Northeastern"... you wont be disapointed

Its a moving picture... and i think I like it!

MMH - Friday edition

Hey friends and neighbors! here's a taste, a morsel if you will of all the awesome I spew on terry when ever he swings by and challenges me. It's sad you know... You poor sensitive souls only get to see mere stills of the raw carnage that appears in halo3 battles. Tragic. A picture of a fierce teabaging doesn't even come close to actually seeing the unadulterated shame of a full on slow motion replay. If only I had the ability to capture those precious moments for all ya'll... well maybe when halo 4 comes out in another 5 years. That should give all my suicidal fans something to hold on for a while. Buck up little pups! it'll be alright!

alright, I am out. catch all ya'll on the flip side.

also... perhaps I post a shot of me getting pwnd by the 13year old I mentioned in that last post  in the next couple days, if only to show ya'll that your magnificent leader is only 99.9% amazingly perfect.



Hear the Good News

It has risen! Yes weaksaucers, my 360 is back from the dead, rolled out of the microsoft repair center and back in my entertainment unit. I have been enjoying the fruits of their underpaid labor for a week. Delicious! On a sad note I have noticed that my skillz with a Z have been weakened by all the halo playing I haven't been doing. I went online the other day and got my ass swiftly handed to me by one of those fancy 13 year olds, you know, the ones with those nubile fresh reflexes that a 26 year old can only dream about. All this to say, Terry should swing by soon and challenge me, what with mah skillz being at an all time low!

Some good news it that I downloaded 3 new maps for battle so you weaksaucers will be seeing an icy change in scenery. 

peace out you beautiful, bountiful baby boys!

Monday, April 7, 2008

MMH - Can anyone help this man?

Jump back! Its monday and we all know what that generally means.... Terry getting shot in the nutz... the Head Nutz!
Today we have him thinkin he safe, walkin along, and then like a swift wind my awesomeness swoops in and pops is cherry... his Head Cherry! 

thats all for today, peace out little baby men.


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Assplosion Imminent

Hello My lovable little pocket monsters,

Lets look at terry, he is just standing there... standing there assploding. Why on earth would he do that? Doesn't he know that one of the points of battle is not to get spike grenades stuck to your codpeice? Doesn't he know that entering a battle with me (what with my mad skillz with a Z) is literally the definition of suicide in most dictionaries? you can look that one up, seriously, do it. If your dictionary doesn't have that definition for suicide then its probably gay, and its probably gay with YOU.

On a non halo note, Grand Theft Auto 4 is coming out soon and if I dont have my 360 back from the shop before it comes out you shall all bear witness to massive pwning of microsoft employees on a global scale. I shall brutalize them with my beefy man cannon! I will punch them in the ear! I will kick them in the nutz! All this and more, just because GTA4 looks so bad ass.

My suggestion to you dear weaksaucers is that you all get 360's and play that game when it comes out. you just wont stop creaming your jeans. seriously.

MMH - Lying down on the job Edition

Hello again all you raving fans of my awesome blog and general awesomeness. So today we have terry getting face raped while being ejected out of a gravity cannon. he was trying to get away but i gave him the long dong of the law straight to his cranium. 

With my 360 infirmed we're going to have to subsist on meager leftovers from past games, but thats ok, I know my fan are strong like bull! I bet if I took my fans and had them fight sharks with deathpowered death beams mounted to their chests we would be having death powered sushi for dinner, with a side of miso soup.... Death powered miso soup!

anyway I am bored of this entry. fuck all ya'll.


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